ANOTHER TRUE EPISODE OF
"BRIGADIER GENERAL HOSPITAL"
OR HOW NY BRUSHES OFF DR AND LWYR REGULATION
My doctor came into my hospital room the other day. He said "let
me introduce you to Dr. Hugo Rutfasser. He will be taking over your
case. I am going on an extended leave to hunt Boers in South
Africa."
"Actually, he is not a doctor. New York State suspended his
license for 30 days for abuse of narcotic drugs. In the meantime, he is
permitted to wear a white coat over which a stethoscope hangs and
patronize patients. but only when supervised.
He doesn’t speak English. In fact, he can’t speak at all. The
huge doses of drugs he took stewed his brain. But he is now in remission
waiting to resume his practice.
His is a tragic story of a fall from great heights. Before he got
hooked on drugs, he was rated by Consumer Reports as the world’s
greatest brain surgeon. He limited his practice to the powerful and
wealthy. He drilled on many block heads of state, tightening their loose
screws. Hollywood stars in droves came to him. He pioneered a frontal
lobotomy that shrinks the brain back to the naivete of an 18 year old.
He discovered a procedure for separating the frontal lobe from the
limbic system.
